I have always enjoyed doing jigsaw puzzles, and I was happy when I saw that interest in my son. Even though he struggles with his fine motor skills, he still seems to like doing them, and it is something he wanted to do with me that day.
It is a hazy memory now, but the meaning of the moment I still treasure.
One day I was so pressed down with the depression all I wanted to do was sleep and I had gone back to bed after I had put my daughter down for her nap. My four year-old (at the time) son wanted to play with me so badly he brought a puzzle to me and said, "Tiger puzzle, please, with such a sweet face that drew me through the fatigue and sorrow to do the puzzle with him. I didn't want to do anything at all, but as I did that puzzle (too many times to count) I started to see that I was like that puzzle. I could be put back together again. Each piece of me whether a memory of abuse in childhood, thoughts weighted down with low-self esteem, my fears and all my emotions are apart of me along with my compassion, sense of humor, and naive makes me unique and wonderfully made. I don't need to start from scratch because God has placed within me what He wants and knows how to pick up the pieces of me and help put me back together just like that tiger puzzle. That day my son gave me something...the tenacity to get better and dare to look at myself from a different perspective. For me it was his way to do something with me to stir the interest in living again. I was in an emotional place that I really didn't want to live but I didn't want to give up either.
Today I can get out of bed and take care of my family and enjoy my life and being a mom. Even if I have to try harder some days than other days, knowing that I have survived some of my darker days and come out stronger for it I know that I can press on and rest in the love of Jesus.
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