When the leaves fall

When the leaves fall... I will be honest I am not a fan of all the bare trees of winter time. But as I study them I realize there is a lose of pretense. Each bend and turn of the branches shows how it grown. We do a lot to hide ourselves (even from ourselves). To grow in a new direction it takes some interspection and willingness to really see without pretense. The naked trees of winter remind me that beneath the gorgeous leaves is authentic beauty that make each one different and beautiful. Just like each of us.

Dawning perspective

Dawning Perspective I rise before dawn and tiptoe to the kitchen to make myself a steaming mocha coffee. Careful to not make a sound I slip outside to the screened-in-porch to be by myself before the husband and kids awake. I sip my sweet java as the sun rises, the birds sing, the squirrels play, and the smell of the dew rises. What a glorious sight to me is the sun rays upon the leaves and the shadows it cast among the trees. I think this is the most beautiful dawn but with a few blinks of my eyes it slightly brings more beauty. Change in our hearts can be this beautiful in the light of our Savior. If we would just be still and take a moment to see.

Wanting to feel

Wanting to feel better
For the panic to let go
Hoping for a day
The pain won't show.

Facing the evil and my innocence stolen

In the place I always hide
Numbness takes over
No drugs needed
 too much pain  & float away.

Only for a time can I be there because now I am needed here

Even if only a face in the crowd.
I have to focus to come back
What do I see, smell, taste?
Can I hear my breath or 
Feel anything?

Dissociating served me well as a child
But as an adult it’s not the best coping style
I miss too much, feel too little
It is a fight to stay and not drift away.

 

Loved ones hurt when I am away
They just love me and want me near everyday

I can stand up to you Fear and break free because greater is He in me than in you.